


Painted "Claws"

by TheatrePhantom



Series: Trans Dib for the Soul [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Body Dysphoria, Coming Out, Dysphoria, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nail Polish, Trans Character, Trans Dib (Invader Zim), Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:14:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24747409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatrePhantom/pseuds/TheatrePhantom
Summary: Dib’s a bit stressed out over the fact that he has yet to come out to his frenemy, Zim.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: Trans Dib for the Soul [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790959
Comments: 10
Kudos: 127





	Painted "Claws"

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE writing for trans Dib. It is genuinely one of my favourite headcanons- I could give you a list of reasons why- but I always have a difficult time writing it mainly because the majority of the things that I write for the fandom involve things that would be INCREDIBLY uncomfortable to wear a binder while doing and I don’t want to subject Dib to that. Regardless, I love the headcanon and I love writing for it, so here is a small thing.

As was tradition, Dib sat on the floor of his bedroom late at night, aimlessly slathering random coloured paint onto his nails in an attempt to get his life together. Unlike his past, though, this wasn’t an attempt to force himself to be feminine. No, this time, it was an effort to clear his mind as he thought through his problems. 

Nearly every week, Dib sported a different style of nail polish- typically because he would end up scrapping all of it off while either deep in thought or anxious before the week was over. 

Most times, Gaz ended up doing it. There wasn’t a lot of “sibling bonding” that happened between the two of them, but, once every week or so, they would just sit in one of their rooms and listen to one another rant while Gaz painted their nails (Dib would offer to do her’s in return, but his hands were far less steady). It was nice to just talk to her- to talk to  _ somebody _ \- about the things that made him happy.

Other times, Dib did it himself, though, on those occasions, they looked only sub-par. Regardless, it was a decent grounding exercise and was surprisingly calming to just sit down and focus on something other than school and his alien best friend-arch nemesis combination. It was something he could focus on to clear his mind and it helped him work through things, sometimes, giving him a reason to just sit down and think through things. 

Dib had an agonizingly difficult time coping with his gender dysphoria, sometimes. He knew that he was incredibly lucky! His dad and sister both loved and accepted him and his family had the kind of money for him to have access to things like binders that made his life far easier. Even with all of that, though, he had his issues… 

One of which being the fact that Zim still didn’t know. 

Dib didn’t have any qualms with lying to Zim. While their relationship had become something more akin to friendship over the years, Dib was still willing to do what he needed to do. No, his problem wasn’t that, it was the fact that he couldn’t  _ talk _ to Zim about it. 

Despite the support and acceptance from his family, Dib didn’t feel as though he could really talk to people about his problems regarding being trans whenever he needed to. There weren’t many occasions when he wanted to just vent about his problems regarding his gender, but there were moments where he had gone to mention something relating to his biological gender while talking to Zim and had to stop himself. It wasn’t a big problem, but Zim was becoming a friend of his and, as much as he  _ hated _ to admit it, he wanted him to know. 

He wanted to be able to share that part of his life with his friend. He wanted to be able to hang out with his friend for extended periods of time (something that he didn’t let himself do as wearing his binder for too long was not only incredibly uncomfortable but unsafe and would lead to rib damage… and likely numerous other kinds of damage if Gaz caught wind of it). He wanted to be able to offhandedly mention how irritating things were or tell Zim the  _ real _ reason behind some of the harassment he faced. He wanted to be able to rant to Zim when dysphoria hit him particularly hard, and, if he was being honest, he wanted to be able to cry in his friend’s arms when things got rough. 

But he couldn’t do any of that if Zim didn’t  _ know _ . 

Dib didn’t feel  _ pressure _ per se to come out to Zim but he  _ wanted _ to be able to. He was just… scared. 

Zim came from an incredibly advanced alien race and there was a good chance that Zim had no experience with the concept of being transgender and how that worked. It was very likely that Zim wouldn’t even  _ care _ that Dib had been assigned female at birth… but there was always the possibility that he  _ would _ .  _ Plus _ , there was the added obstacle of having to explain the concept to him- something that was difficult to do to  _ human beings _ who had lived on the same planet as Dib all their lives. 

He let out an exasperated groan, burying his face in his hands. He was sure that he was ruining his nail polish in the process of doing so, smudging his work and possibly even getting his hair stuck in it. He didn’t care, though. He was tired and there was too much in his mind for him to worry about something so trivial. 

Running through his mind was an extensive pro and con list of coming out to Zim and everything that would come with doing so. He doubted that it would be too much of a big deal to the Invader but it was a big deal to  _ him _ . It was important that Zim accepted him and that it didn’t hurt their friendship. 

This was stressing him out too much and he hadn’t even come out to Zim, yet. Maybe he should just come out to him and get it over with so he didn’t have to worry about it anymore? That was a good idea in theory, but Dib was  _ horrible _ at not over-thinking things. 

Finally, Dib pulled his face out of his hands. A quick glance down confirmed his suspicions that he had, indeed, ruined the paint job he had done. He didn’t mind, though. At least doing the painting had allowed him some time to think- even if it didn’t help him destress as much as he had hoped. 

No matter. It was a Saturday and Dib still had plenty of time. 

Dib removed the paint from his nails, wiped the excess from his face, and started again. This time, with more of a plan in mind. 

He painted his nails the colours of the trans pride flag. 

~~~

Nervously, Dib picked at his fingernails. It was the habit that replaced his previous bad habit of gnawing all of his nails off and, even if it left flecks of nail polish everywhere, it, at the very least, didn't leave him with bleeding fingers. It was, by far, better than before and was the main reason he had picked up painting his nails. 

Regardless, it was a dead giveaway for any time he was stressed out. 

“Dib-Thing,” Zim questioned, snapping him from his nervous daze, “Why are you attempting to remove your claws?”

Dib couldn’t help but snort at that, “I’m not trying to  _ remove _ anything- especially not my nails. I’m just picking at the paint.”

“Yes, but  _ why _ ?”

“It’s just a tick-”

“No,” Zim sighed, rolling his eyes, “I mean  _ why _ ? I am well aware that you do that when you are thinking about something or stressing yourself out. What is worrying you?”

Dib blinked. He really should have assumed that Zim would pick up on his habits as time went on- he had been trained to be observant, after all. 

“So. What- or  _ who _ -” Zim eyes narrowed at the prospect of someone messing with  _ his _ arch-nemesis- “Is bothering you?”

Clenching his hands into fists to stop himself from picking at his nails anymore, Dib finally decided to bite the bullet and  _ talk _ , “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Zim perked up at that, “Go on?”

“So, there’s this…  _ thing _ that happens to some people,” Dib began, gesturing vaguely, “Basically, when a person is born, their body and brains are designed to be a specific gender, yeah?”

Zim nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“Well, sometimes, your body isn’t the gender that your brain is. Sometimes things just get… messed up and come out wrong,” Dib sighed, “I’m like that.”

“That…  _ happens _ ?”

Dib nodded. 

Zim hesitated for a moment before speaking again, “I would tease you about how pathetic your species is if you didn’t look like a puppy about to have a bleeding ulcer.”

Dib chuckled at that.

“Why did you tell me this?” Zim asked, head tilting. 

“Well… it’s sort of important to me. A lot of people don’t exactly  _ accept _ people who are transgender- that’s the term for it, by the way- so I was worried about it,” Dib hesitated, looking up at the ceiling to avoid making eye contact as he said the next bit, “And you are a big part of my life so I wanted you to know.”

“I…” Zim began, unsure how to continue with that information, “Appreciate that you trusted me with this.”

Dib’s muscles relaxed as he heard that. 

“I don’t know how to be an ally to you, but I accept you, even if the others of your  _ ridiculously  _ primitive species don’t.”

“Thanks, Zim,” Dib smiled, “And don’t worry. I don’t need an ally- I need an accomplice.”

Zim smirked at that, “I’m not going to go cryptid hunting with you just because I accept you.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Dib replied, grinning back, “That wasn’t what I meant by that, but I’ll wear you down on that, too.”

“You will do no such thing, Earth-Filth,” Zim narrowed his eyes.

Dib didn’t take the insult seriously. Instead, he just ruffled his friend’s wig playfully.

~~~

It wasn’t too long before dib ended up cashing in on his promise of help from his emotional support alien. 

Immediately upon entering the alien’s base, Dib headed over to where his friend was sitting and collapsed on top of him. His eyes stung from tears that he refused to let fall. Despite being wrapped in a soft, baggy NASA sweatshirt, the comfort of the clothing item just wasn’t cutting it for Dib at the moment. 

Zim blinked, startled, but wrapped his arms around his “nemesis” regardless, letting Dib cuddle into him, “Er, are you alright?”

The look that Dib shot him was enough to tell him that  _ no _ , he was most certainly  _ not _ alright. 

“Okay, stupid question,” Zim muttered, “ _ What _ is bothering you?”

Dib started and stopped trying to explain several times. While he  _ knew _ what his problem was at the moment, he couldn’t find the right words to express it. Try as he might, he couldn’t force any words out that made any coherent sense. He was too drained to do so.

“It’s okay,” Zim assured him, taking his friend’s expression, “You don’t have to talk about it. We can just stay here.”

And stay there they did. 

Instead of worrying about their respective woes, Dib and Zim cuddled up against one another, tangling their limbs in a friendly embrace that was  _ definitely _ not normal behaviour for people who dedicated their time to destroying one another. Neither of them thought about that, though. They just enjoyed the calming warmth of the other person in their arms. 


End file.
